


You are What You Eat, After All

by SandrC



Series: Balance My Deeds With My Misdeeds [38]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Do not tag as incest, Dvati!Taako and Lup, F/M, Found Family, Gen, Multi, a character study, also lots of Important Proper Nouns, because I am a fucking author who don't need grammar fuck you, exploration of trauma, look - Freeform, lup being forgotten fucked Taako right the hell up, surprise surprise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-03
Updated: 2017-11-03
Packaged: 2019-01-28 23:17:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12617784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SandrC/pseuds/SandrC
Summary: Whether I’ve been caramelized or rotten to the coreWhich one should I be?‘Cus I dunno who I’m supposed to be anymoreAnd it’s sickening(Or: a study of the world from the eyes of our favorite Hell Twins.)





	You are What You Eat, After All

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [And I Will](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12434082) by [ohjustdisarmalready](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohjustdisarmalready/pseuds/ohjustdisarmalready). 



> For your sanity and mine, look up Dvati. They will make you cry. I have so many feelings.
> 
> Summary is taken from GHOST's song Appetite of a People Pleaser which, if you can handle Nihonglish and Vocaloid, is hella good. Will warn that it has implications of eating disorders—as most of GHOST's works are mildly disturbing and pretty personal—but it's...purple prose-y? If you want, please check out their video here (it's subbed because Vocaloid producers are aware that synth voices are hard to understand): https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=7J8MFD-urhg. They use V4 flower, who has a very tomboyish pronunciation and is just...so good.
> 
> But, back to the story: the concept of Dvati are hella fun but so are the implications of Self versus Others. And, surprising absolutely no one, this is a character study and I'm just accepting it as my truth. I'm living my truth now.

Taako and Lup always wondered _why_. Why do Others do what they do? Why do bad things happen? Why do twins get born? Why do their parents die? Why does no one want them? Why do they have to run to live? Why does no one hire them? Why does everyone hate them? _Why?!!_

They come to the conclusion that Others are incomplete. That has to be why they do what they do. Why they hurt others. Why they are mean. Why they are unhappy. They're only one _half_ of what they need to be.

When people look at Taako and Lup, at first they can't distinguish between the two. Visually they're identical and while they're on the road, they dress the same and wear their hair the same and are rarely found farther than ten feet away from each other. Given time to observe their mannerisms, one could tell them apart easily, however, and that's why no one ever knows. They never really stay in one place long enough for anyone to learn.

Taako is the brains. Not that Lup isn't _smart_ —sometimes she shuts him down before he starts because she knows his plan is stupid and won't work—but Taako is detached in his observation of Others and Lup gets more involved. Both of them can easily run circles around Others mentally but Taako is quick of wit and quick of tongue. He doesn't need a weapon or magic to hurt someone. All he needs are sharp eyes and a clever retort.

Lup is the heart. Not to say that Taako is _heartless_ —he cries easier than she does and often feels way more guilty when they do Wrong Things—but Lup feels people and places and empathizes with others. Both of them are infallibly mortal—insofar as an elf can be, with their extensive lifespan and vague ethereal nature—but Lup can read people like books by simply looking and watching and listening. She has a calm patience that Taako does not.

They are well aware that they are not standard in this world. Twins are rare; sun elf twins even moreso. Still, even knowing that they are complete in a world of halves or even thirds or quarters, there is always a lurking tension in their hearts that says 'something about you is Wrong and Broken'. So, as all good scientists do—that's what they _are_ , right? They ask questions and note results and log everything they learn and that's a _scientist_ thing yeah?!!—they seek out answers by prodding at the world around them.

It is little surprise to them that the world does not like being prodded. It bites back and _hard_. Still, the twins learn many things before the world stops them dead in their tracks.

This is the comprehensive list of things that the twins learn about the world before they are stopped and pushed towards a more 'academic' type of Science:

When twins are elsewhere on Faerûn—twins that are _not_ Taako and Lup—they are Different. They don't complete each other as well as Taako and Lup do. There is a disconnect between Other Twins that is not the same as the fluid Understanding between them. It is Wrong. (Or are _they_ Wrong???)

Others are not fond of the noise that Taako and Lup make. They don't like not knowing things and, instead of doing the Scientific Thing and looking into the things they don't know, Others just yell and get mad. (Sometimes they even try to hurt them. It makes no sense. Taako and Lup just share a language none of the Others have.)

Others don't like sharing either. Between Lup and Taako there is no Mine. There is only Ours. Others have lots of Mine and very little Ours. When they move to take Ours, Others yell and shout and try to arrest them for taking Mine. It's just fucking dumb.

It's easy to make Others mad. Others don't have Taakos to let them know that they're being stupid and childish or Lups to tell them to stop and breathe first. Others just rage and burn and scream and _burn_. It scares Taako and Lup. It makes them worried that they are the ones that are Wrong, if all Others are so mad. It makes them wonder if their parents were Others and that's why they're gone. It makes them wary and distrustful.

When the world decides that, _no_ , Taako and Lup need to be reigned in, Others in Power find them in the local jail of the small town of Haren. These Others come forth and say "You two are really a pain in our asses, you know that?!" They don't respond because _why bother_. Others, especially Others in Power, don't care anyway. The Others in Power shake their heads, "You two are so powerful and smart. You just need an outlet. Will you attend the Institute?"

It takes time for the Others in Power to explain what the Institute is—full name being the Institute of Planar Research and Exploration, or IPRE—and what would be expected of them but...the concept of magic school for smart people where they'd have a constant place to sleep and a constant source of food and constant stimulation is just too tempting.

So they commune. Others in Power are scary and Not To Be Trusted but the IPRE? This is so... _choice_.

And then the Others in Power correctly tell them apart and Taako and Lup decide to agree to attend. If the Others in Power are that smart, then _fuck yeah!_ We'll fucking do it!!!

The IPRE is an adventure. All the people attending are Others, of course, because that's what the world is like. Full of Others. But stimulation is very there and Lup and Taako are rarely apart by too much and they perfect their favored magic—natch, cause they're _just that dope_ —and it is everything. Everything and _more_.

And then, in the dark halls of an exciting school in a boring-ass world of Others, they're chosen to be two of seven to explore other planes of existence and _that's so fucking insane holy shit Lup what the fuck is this real?!_ The other five Others accompanying them are insanely unique too! They're all so different but the harmony that binds them is... _unfathomable_...

And that's the ticket, isn't it? Because the hinge of the whole mission is an engine that runs on the concept of Bonds that are between people. Between Others. Between Taako and Lup.

So Taako and Lup poke and prod again. They investigate and Science their new family as only they can and learn many things about these Others.

Magnus Burnsides, a burly human male with bushy hair and a devil-may-care attitude, is strangely the least Other out of all of them. He reaches out and rarely gets mad when they Science him. And, while he doesn't have magic, he has a draw and charm to him that makes Lup and Taako both regard him as Not Other from the get-go.

Lucretia Efi, a human woman with contrasting hair and skin and a sharp eye, is an Other among Others. Lup and Taako are insanely pleased when she takes their Scienceing and Sciences them back. For every prod and poke and instigation and question they have for her, she has one back and all of them are so fun. Unable to categorize her, they leave her as Other but Not.

Davenport, a male gnome with red hair and a temper to match, is an Other in temper but Not Other in actions. Their captain of this group, he guides with a firm and steady hand. Taako and Lup believe that, had their parents lived, this is what they would have been like. Plus he rolls with the punches and rarely yells unless Taako and Lup disrupt what is Supposed to Happen. He is Other but Tolerable.

Barry Bluejeans, a human male whose real name is Sildar Hallwinter but no one calls him that because he's a fucking dork and never wears anything that isn't denim, is a Scientist but, unlike Lucretia Efi, is not as quick on the rebuttal. He takes Sciencing with a grain of salt but seems to draw in on himself the more they push. He is Other but Tolerable.

Merle Highchurch, a male dwarf and cleric of Pan, is the final of the five Others. The oldest of them all—both physically and racially, even outclassing Taako and Lup, who are older than Davenport—he is oddly the most Other and the most Tolerable. He is chill and rolls with Sciencing. He never pushes back and just listens and this is So Other and yet Good? In the end, Taako and Lup can only classify him as Other with no modifiers.

When the StarBlazter— _fuck yeah_ this is Ours and named by the Extended Us (Taako and Lup and the five Others)—leaves, the bond engine humming gently behind them, Taako and Lup watch as Familiar Other is devoured by Wrong Other and they arrive at a world that is Wrong and Incorrect. Taken aback, they do what they do best: they Science.

This is how it goes for years; plane to plane, Other to Other, as the Hunger chases the StarBlazter, Taako and Lup Science and slowly the rest of the Extended Us becomes just Us.

Lucretia Efi becomes Lucretia or Creesh or Luc, a sharp-tongued woman who can match Taako word-for-word and still Science as good as ever. Her reservations disappear behind the desire to Know and Protect 

Davenport becomes CapnPort or Dav or Cap, father figure, predictable voice of reason, and someone who can push back as hard as Taako and Lup push at him. His temper doesn't abate but instead refines to become fuel for the fire of their goals  

Barry Bluejeans becomes Barry or Barold or BBJ or Care Bare, friend and Sciencer and Lup's only Mine. It's scary but Taako loves Barry as much as Lup does, it's just a different color of love and he lets her have Barry as Mine. Ours is everything else and that's all that matters.

Magnus Burnsides becomes Magnus or Maggie or Mags or Fucking Dumbass, a dependable teddy bear who leans into Us quicker and easier than the rest. He fills the hole left when Lup or Taako dies in a cycle so that the remainder doesn't end in pain. He becomes the other twin. He is glue and they love and appreciate him.

Merle Highchurch becomes Merle or Dad or Old Man or Perv, the secondary dad and the listening ear and the grounding force to the Other remaining in the Extended Us. While Taako and Lup rarely show it, they love him the most.

But come cycle one hundred, the fated End of their journey, when Lup leaves and Lucretia makes everyone Forget? Taako becomes Other and it is _heartbreaking_ because he is incomplete and Ours becomes Mine and sharing is _hard_ and Sciencing is _stupid_ because _everyone_ is like this and Other is stupid _fuck this_. Taako becomes Broken and Tired and Different. Taako becomes Wrong.

(As the Umbra Staff snaps over his knee and the fire of Lup washes over him, Taako wonders for the first time in almost a decade if he is still the same as when they arrived. He is Other, yes, but also Us and that is what hurts the most.)

(He wonders with tears in his eyes if he is Wrong and Broken now. That hurts more than Forgetting does and it haunts him to his dying days.)


End file.
